For a little girl fits a maniac, and says:.
- Girl, if I cut off your finger, how many left?.
- Three.
- What three? .
- Do you have approached me.
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The woman is not working toilet, she is plumbing. Those without a word began to work hard plunger soon use it to pull out of the toilet bowl for a head girl of seven years:.
- That's the reason for obstruction!.
- I have no reason! .
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A full bus of tourists for several hours on the road, air conditioning is not working. Suddenly someone is pretty messed up the air. The eyes of all the cuts, the people in a rage shouting, ' Give us this monster, we tear it to pieces '. Here stands a man a solid form:.
- Calm down, I'm a hereditary psychic and easily calculated this reptile. Only I need a long thread on the bus.
The people fussing around got a thread. Psychic:.
- Now pull the thread from the beginning to the end of the cabin and all grasp the thread. All come from?.
- Yes -ah.
- The one who farted too come from?.
- Yes.
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There is a memorial service. In the hall runs perspiring people coming to the tomb and something pops into the dead leg.
- What are you doing? .
- The whole city ran. Nowhere no color. So I gave him a chocolate bar.
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His wife confessed to her husband of drunk that betrayed him, when he was on a fishing trip. and he disappeared.
A week had not seen him.
Then he was barely able to see the right eye.
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Employee dolphin when he wants to praise his son, throws him in the herring!.
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The husband returns to his country home from a long business trip and was surprised to notice a sign on the gate, ' Beware! .
- Honey, your mom with us for long?.
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- Uncle, I am of your Galya.
- Well, get married.
- That there is, I moved her tractor.
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Her husband, gloomy as a cloud, returns home from the hospital, where the wife's mother provedyval.
His wife meets him at the door.
F: - How are you my mother?.
M: - Your mother is healthy as a horse, going out of bolnitsyi will live with us!.
M: - I do not know. Yesterday the doctor told me that she prismerti.
M ( angrily ): - I do not know what he told you, and he told me to prepare for the worst.
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- Dad, look what I made a birdhouse!.
- Well done son! .
- But why? .
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A guy comes into the restaurant, ordered a first. The waitress brings him soup. He begins to eat and catches a hearing aid! .
- A girl in my soup hearing aids!.
- What, I'm sorry?.
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- Wait a minute, and we know each other?.
- I will be with a rose in his hand.
- And I'll be bold.
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The girl caught a goldfish, that she and the man's voice says:.
- Forgive me, I will fulfill your every desire!.
A girl taking a fish fins, said:.
- Fly, Fly, petal.
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The boy, who studied kiss on tomatoes, habitually ate a classmate.
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A man, after an unsuccessful and tense dispute with the mother- daughter says:.
- Docha, give our grandmother lip cream.
- What kind of cream, Dad?.
- That, in a small tube, it has ' Moment ' is written.
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Describe yourself!.
- Bones, meat, half a bucket of blood and perky merry eyes.
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Deaf and dumb diver Basil lip white shark that he has read n @ zdets.
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To avoid confusion, the grandmother of a newborn kitten named Barsik and the other drowned.
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Write in a book of complaints and suggestions Railway to a cafe:.
- ' Ate meatballs and fries. constipation was. Thank you '.
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Maid on ' Titanic ' 20 minutes ago zadolbalsya cloth to squeeze out.
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- Cuckoo, cuckoo, how will I live?.
Ku -.
- Why is it so ma. ?.
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A man umiraet. Pozval relatives:.
- Brat. Do you remember you with HOW TO raboty fired? . Sestra! . And you, zhena remember, HOW TO posadit you want? . Forgive me if you can. And now - my last zhelanie - hang me to the chandelier nogami.
And he died. His legs have za - podveshivayut. Suddenly the doorbell.
Otkryvayut, a tam police:.
- By nam here zayavlenie received, that there nad izdevayutsya dead!.
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An interesting one-eyed girl who is no longer interested in living in the starling house.
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There is a lady in a dress from him a tit out. Fits a policeman and asked.
- A woman is that you have a dress sticks out in a public place?.
She looked up and said,.
- YOUR MOTHER! .
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Papen with the girl in the otppavilis pestopan. Ppishli, sat down, then it means the waiter approaches them, and the waiter on his neck hangs a spoon from the kapmana bpyuk topchit tesemochka. Ppinyal he left the order and. Che.pez SOME Quaternary ppinosit order, but what the guy was intepesno -.
Why a spoon, and tesemochka.
- Sorry for the curious, but why do you need a spoon?.
- Well you know, when I was carrying panshe order and dropped into the soup myha, I have it from there took out his finger, and it's not hygienic. Here are the bosses and put a spoon. Bang a spoon fly, pulled out and vybposil.
- It is clear. And, sorry, you tesemochka why?.
- Well you know, we're people too and we also want to malenkomy -. Previously, we pukoy fetched, and it is not hygienic, and that's ppidumali tesemochki: for tesemochku depnul - shipinka passtegivaetsya and do their job.
- A well -. HEY what about reversed?.
- And this is a spoon.
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